Book Review - The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code

I love Emerson Eggerich's writing style. Very easy to follow, full of anecdotal stories that serve as real practical examples of how to apply the whole Love and Respect concept to communication between husband and wife. Overall the book is very good and very recommendable. It can stand alone on its own and can be read without having read the first book.

As just stated, one might get away with just reading this book alone and not reading the previous Love and Respect book.  The material is very similar and all the key concepts  of Love and Respect are fully communicated (the first chapter is admittedly a condensed version of the first book). The difference between this book and its predecessor, in my opinion, is the way Emerson really shows how communication is key to the Love and Respect concept.

The only negative thing I can think of is the repetition of ideas, concepts and even stories.  Emerson does a lot of repeating.  As a pastor I understand why.  Important points are worth repeating over and over in as many different ways as possible to drive home the point.  For some people, though, this may be the only drawback to the book.  For others this won't be a problem.

Overall, this book is very recommendable on a reading level and, more importantly, on a personal and marital development level.  The principles found in this book, if worked, can truly transform a marriage.

Is It a Contradiction When a Pastor Admits There is Not 100% Proof of God's Existence?

This semester I am teaching a Intro to Philosophy course at our community college.  Right at the beginning of the course I fess up and reveal that I am a local pastor.  I do this because I believe it is important to be up front, and also to assure them that I am not there to push religious views.  The class is a survey class.  There are no expectations of anyone buying into what is being taught (though there is the expectation of students being challenged to think better).

This weeks unit is on religion and philosophy.  Today we were talking about William James "The Will to Believe" lecture where he introduces a way at looking at choices that have no empirical evidence.  Without going into it (though I encourage you to  read it here), I said that William James believed that choosing to believe in God was one of the many decisions that just did not have the evidence.  No one can prove that God is exists with 100% certainty.  To this one of the student's objected. "How can you say that as a pastor? Isn't that a contradiction?"  I gave a short explanation and then moved on as to not take up class time giving a personal belief (though it did fit in with the philosophical discussion).

So I wanted to take time to answer the question.  Is it a contradiction for a pastor to admit that there is no way to prove God's existence with 100% certainty?  The answer, to me, is an obvious no. Let me begin my explanation with this. Faith plays a huge role in Christianity (and many other religions).  If God enabled us to know he existed without any uncertainty this would take away from our faith.  I believe that God has made it difficult to objectively prove his existence.  With that said I do believe that a person can have 100% assurance that God does exist with both objective evidence and subjective experience (a form of evidence for the individual). Many people have come to the conclusion that God is real when objective evidence is coupled with subjective experience, or what some might call religious experience.

So how might this work? I do not have conclusive empirical evidence (evidence that you can perceive) that God exists.  I do have, what I believe, to be good evidence. I believe that there is sufficient evidence that points to the Bible being one of the most unique books ever written (I will not go into here).  I believe that the world is too finely tuned and shows a level of workmanship that surpasses what evolution is supposedly capable of.  I believe there is sufficient evidence that shows Jesus was much more than a mere man.  Etc...  This is all circumstantial evidence.  Even though I believe it is pretty good evidence that points to God's existence it does not prove God exists with 100% certainty.   For me, I must add my personal experiences.  Experiences such as answered prayer, seeming miraculous events, deep seated conviction, hope that surpasses understanding, peace that surpasses understanding and joy that surpasses understanding.  My experiences coupled with what I see as good evidence gives me 100% certainty  that God exists, but because my subjective experience plays a large part in my certainty there is no way for me to prove to you with a 100% assurance that God exists.

For me it is not a contradiction to say that the proof for God's existence is just not fully there.  Faith plays a part in the relationship experience with God.  I can give you as much of the evidence I have, and it will probably never be enough.  There comes a point where you are going to have to decide whether to believe or not.  I do believe that when you have made the decision to believe you will start accumulating the subjective evidence you require to make your believe in God firm.  God is real and he continually reveals himself to those who believe and trust him.

If there is anyone reading this who is not a Christian I challenge you to look at the evidence that does exist.  Just like many things in our life, weigh the evidence and make a decision.  My prayer is that you will make the decision to believe. When you do I truly believe God will confirm his existence to you in ways you never thought possible.

What is Worship and How it Applies to Halloween

Many Christians get bent out of shape about Halloween. Though I see more and more of them relaxing their hardcore views (I was one of them) there always seems to be a contingency of those who think anyone who participates in celebrating is truly rendering worship to evil forces.

It is true that the holiday had a connection to paganism. It is also true that the holiday has a connection to Catholicism. I wont go into the history as there has been a lot already said (just google the history of Halloween).

What I want to address is the issue that we may be unwittingly worshiping the dark forces if this world (and I guess some how giving them more power in doing it). The question is, can a person worship something without knowing it? I believe the obvious answer is no!

To truly worship someone or something there has to be intention behind the action. If thus were not there case then could we not say that nonbelievers could unintentionally be worshiping God?! Of course this would be considered absurd. Worship requires intention.

When children dress up for Halloween and participate in Halloween traditions their intention is not to worship darkness and evil. Their intention is to have fun. There can definitely be other types of worship taking place revealed through costume choice and so on, but an intention to worship darkness and evil is, for the most part, not one of them.  Even though there does seem to be an emphasis on scare and gore most of our children choose to dress in what we Christians have come to term as "wholesome" costumes.

Personally I don't see the harm in having a little fun dressing up and meet making. I personally do not celebrate the darker side of Halloween. I would encourage all Christians to do the same, but I don't see the point of completely disassociating ourselves from this holiday that is not seen by the general public as kind of act of worship. That is not the present intention of Halloween.

Have We Really Come This Far to Believe Science Holds All the Answers?!

I read a shocking article the other day.  You can read it here.  For those who don't want to read it...I'll just summarize it.  Basically more and more conservative Christians are coming to the conclusion that the story of Adam and Eve is not fact but merely a myth.  There reason!  Science has not proven that all humans have come from one couple.

Have we really come to this far to believe science holds all the answers?  The more I study philosophy and related subjects the more I am starting to see that science doesn't hold the vast number of truths that the majority of people think it does.  Though much knowledge of our world has been gathered because of scientific inquiry the amount of things not known far surpasses what we do know.  Scientists spend much of their time observing the world and making general guess based upon these observations.

Let me put it into perspective using the world of medicine.  My grandmother-in-law was found to have a failing liver recently.  The question on everyone's minds is "Why didn't the doctors catch this before?!"  My wife got online and begin to look up the symptoms of a failing liver.  Her grandmother has many of those symptoms, but as I began to read the symptoms over her shoulder I couldn't help think that I have seen a similar list before.  In fact, it seemed like most of the symptoms are on the list are symptoms of many other diseases and problems.  Why didn't the doctors catch it before?  Just because they know the symptoms of certain conditions, diseases  and illnesses doesn't mean they are going to instantly identify the problem because there are so many shared symptoms.  There is a limit to how the body reacts.  So even though the medical field has identified sicknesses and their symptoms it is still pretty much a guess  when it comes to diagnosis.

I have noticed this to be the case over the last few years.  We have 5 children.  We have been to the doctor quite a bit, not to mention that I am diabetic.  The one thing I have noticed is there is rarely a time when the doctor says with 100% assurance that he knows what is wrong.  Most of the time he is just guessing based upon the symptoms.  Science is nowhere being exact.  It is know where near an all knowing status.  So for Christians to base their belief that a very pivatol story in the Bible is not true because science has not proven it is just ridiculous!  I just don't have that much faith in man.

I'm no blind believer either, but I don't think there is enough evidence to conclude that the story of Adam and Eve is not real.  Without Adam and Eve there is no fall and without the fall there is no need of a Savior.  If this be true I need to see the hardcore evidence. Unfortunately for science, there is none.  The fact is, no one today was present then to observe and that alone presents a huge problem for science.  On the other hand, I believe there is more than enough emperical information to sustain my belief in the Christian God who, if real, was there in the beginning.  The God who not only witnessed the event but caused it to happen is the one whom I will place my faith and trust in.

Forgiving like Jesus

Today in our Monday morning men's Bible study we read the passage from Luke (23:32-38) where Jesus is crucified. Verse 34 jumped out at me. "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'"

It struck me. How often do we get upset with non-Christians when they wrong us? We feel indignant, wronged, slighted and we become upset and unforgiving. Why? Should we really expect the world that does not know Jesus to behave like they do know him? All too often we miss an opportunity to act like Jesus by forgiving. We are given opportunities to show the love, grace and mercy of Jesus and all to often we fail (maybe I am just speaking about myself).

I'm not saying we should let the non-Christian world walk all over us (though there could be a possible argument in favor of this). There are cultural rules and etiquette that is expected of any person in a given society that need to be observed and followed. So seeking justice is not beyond the Christian. It really comes down to attitude though. Is the seeking of justice a disguise for revenge? Then we definitely are not acting like Jesus.  One can seek justice and still have a forgiving heart and show grace and mercy.

I am reminded of a story I heard a long time ago. I believe it to be true. A couple's teenage son was murdered by another teenager. The couple sought justice as expected. What was not expected was that when it came time for sentencing of the young murder the couple stepped forward and told the court that they would like this young man to come and live with them. They saw a young man acting on the influence of no love in his life and figured that the best way to help him overcome this was for him to experience the love they had for their deceased son.

That is a powerful story that illustrates the kind of forgiveness we should have for the non-Christian who offends. They may know better from a cultural perspective, but they don't know better from the Christian perspective. Remember, we are called to be the example of Jesus's love to the world. God has, to a certain extent, given us creative licensing to show this love. Are you looking at others through the eyes of Jesus? Are you forgiving others like Jesus?

The Joys of Ministry - Working with Disciples Committed to Doing

Over the last couple of weeks I have been meeting with KCC's ministry leaders.  I have to say, I love working with committed people!  Our church is fortunate to have people who feel called to their particular ministries and who get excited about doing them.

I just met with Robyn who was this year's VBS director.  She did a wonderful job this year.  I was thoroughly impressed with how this year's VBS turned out.  I wanted to meet with her to do some evaluation for next year, and OH MY GOODNESS!  Robyn had took time to sit down and write out everything that was on her mind.  She asked the important questions of "What went well this year?" and "What needs to be done better next year?"  After having done self evaluation she has now begun the process of dreaming big for next year.  I AM SO EXCITED FOR VBS NEXT YEAR!!!, and we are a year away.

It is such a blessing to work with disciples who take the call to "do" so serious.  So I want to give a shout out to KCC ministry leaders.  You guys are awesome!!!   Thank you for bringing joy to this church and may God continue to work through you and bless you as you continue to serve.

Some Thoughts on Discipleship

I really love how we have summarized discipleship into 4 simple words/short phrases.  In my opinion, it really brings clarity to what discipleship is.  Devote yourself to God has a worship aspect to it.  Develop your Christlikeness embodies an attitude of learning and growth.  Do the work of the ministry means taking what you are learning from God and Scripture and in obedience doing it.  Disciple others is at the very heart and call of Jesus.

The more I think about these "Ds" the more I began to understand that there really are, in a sense, two sides to them.  There is a corporate (meaning body of believers) side and a personal or individual side.  What I mean is there are actions we can apply to each D that involve the church body and involve just the individual.

To Devote oneself to God in essence is to live a life of worship.  Corporately this can be seen in the simple attending of worship services at church.  "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together..." (Hebrews 10:25).  On a more personal level it is daily finding ways to show God how much you love and appreciate him.

Developing Christlikeness takes place, on a corporate level, when a person attends/teaches/facilitates a class, bible study or small group.  Each one of these being designed to help us grow in our faith together. "They devoted themselves to the apostle's teaching...." (Acts 2:42).  On a more personal level we should be studying God's word daily looking for the examples and commandments of Jesus and then trying to emulate them in our own lives.  I should mention that any discipleship relationship we are in essentially helps us develop as well.

Doing the ministry once again has a corporate and personal aspect.  Corporately it means working together for the benefit of the church and ultimately the benefit of the world as we proclaim the good news.  In I Corinthians 12 Paul goes through great lengths to show the importance of church members working together doing ministry.  At the end of this passage Paul says "I will show you a still more excellent way."  That excellent way is found in chapter 13 "The Way of Love."  Doing ministry is loving both people within a body and it is loving people outside the body.  So on a personal level doing is being like Jesus in our daily lives with the intention to show love towards God and make him look good to those around us.  It plays a vital role in proclaiming the Gospel to a lost world.

Finally, discipling is accomplished as a body of believers through the support of missionaries.  Corporately we stand behind those who have been called to go where we cannot.  We support them financially, through prayer and encouragement.  On a more personal level we are constantly looking for people to share the good news with and make disciples of.  We invest in the lives of people around us.

So as you can see, there is both a corporate aspect and a personal aspect.  Though I have shown them separate they really are not separate.  If we love God and adore him we will do it both within the walls and without the walls of the church.  If we truly want to develop ourselves into a mirror image of Jesus we will do it both within the walls and without the walls of the church.  If we obey and do what God commands us we will do it both within the walls and without the walls of the church.  If we are truly making disciples we will do it both within the walls and without the walls of the church.  We are disciples within the walls and without the walls of the church.  It is that simple.